Signs of identity

Sometimes, one witnesses trivial events with a powerful and unambiguous meaning inside -at least, for oneself-; events that, in addition, are hard to convert into words: it touches your heart, let put it in this way. The feeling is like a dark and fatal abyss suddenly opening beneath your feet, and disclosing a vast truth unattainable to reason or to the general acknowledgement.

In the bus to home I have this girl sitting behind. She is in her early twenties, I guess. In one of the stops, a guy -who happens to know her- gets on the bus, sits next to her and starts doing chit-chat talk. Quite soon, the girls gets off. She is sitting next to the window, so the guy makes some room for her... But she does not say anything, nor any "excuse me", "sorry"... They are behind me, as I said, and it is not like I saw it, but listened to it. I guess her body language was enough to have the guy receptive -enough- to let her out.

As she was leaving the bus, the girl said: "see you in facebook"... I came home reflecting of such an artificial encounter, lacking of spontaneity: pure modern conventionality. The girl, for sure, that's my view, has learned how to play the game.

**

Early this morning, I gave a speech to the some of the boys and girls I happen to share the office with. You know how these things work: the office is indeed not an office, but a place to talk, chat, relax, drink tea, and so forth. Our office is the only one like that in the Department: other offices are quieter because people feel "more relax" in ours, as the environment is relaxed and slack. It is not supposed to be like this, you say, you are said, of course, and everybody being bothered by the noise and unconsiderate activity gets crossed about... Most important, nobody has seriously attempt to done anything, apart from bitching about or jump into unproductive arguments. These cases end bad always. It is not as much easy problem as it might look like. For sure, I won't fix it: these kids will kill me first.

Anyhow, apart from the option of ear-plugs (which I have), I try to ask for consideration, over and over again, any time I get particularly bothered or I think their behavior is clearly "out of line", no matter how repeatitive.

Early this morning, during one of the usual stuff, I looked at them, some looked at me and knew, but gave me the look-back that a naughty child gives his mother or his friend's mother: the one that shows, first, that he knows he is wrong and, second, that he does not give a damn. So, I started my speech. It took me 1 minute and I say: "can you just avoid the screaming, the stentorian laughing and talk lower with consideration to the me... Or the rest?... Can you?". I only got a clear answer from one of them, being the rest just acknowledging my words so I could finish soon. So I started again. Some of them finally talked and said what they thought. Some of them not.

The most interesting reply to me is this: "Can you just tell, in a nice way, "hey, guys, lower your voice, maann!", or something like this, but not with speeches, because I get very uncomfortable".

Why? Why this young fellow get uncomfortable when somebody honestly express his feelings?... Interesting, hm?

This is to me an extra example of the stubborn laws of convention. Too much education, too much technology, too much globalization but, at the end, it is just that these kids have being taught and learned how to play the game! How to be warm and comfortable inside the circle of fire: the circle of conventions. How to laugh, what to reply, how to look... Just think of the cheesy byes people give to each other at the end of a conversation, a meeting or something, with a -umpleasant (for me)- cadence that let the bye dye slowly and syrupy: "... Byyeeeeeeeeeeeeee".

As I said, these two events gave me much more than what I have been able to write about... Signs of identity of today and yesterday... And ever.

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